


I DON'T THINK I WANT YOU.

by ShamelessFan430



Category: Shameless (US), gallavich - Fandom
Genre: Breakup, Cute, Domestic, Domestic Gallavich, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, Mickey Uses His Words
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-04-26 06:00:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14395800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShamelessFan430/pseuds/ShamelessFan430
Summary: Mickey and Ian have always had a difficult relationship, since the beginning it was rocky and hard to control. The pair were undeniably in love, but just couldn’t see eye to eye on most things. That didn’t stop them from trying to make things work.... right?





	1. Chapter 1

“Ian, you’re being ridiculous” Mickey sighed as he followed his fiery redhead out of the bar, quick on his heels.  
“I’m being ridiculous? Me?” Ian threw his hands up in the air as he huffed out a large sigh.  
“Yeah, and you’re causing a scene” Mickey spoke through clenched teeth.  
“Since when do you care about that” Ian slurred, obviously wasted. 

Mickey just raised a brow in response before he started to walk away.  
“There you go, running away from your problems like always” Ian laughed obviously to add fuel to the fire.  
Mickey knew Ian wanted a response from him, he’d played this game too many times and wasn’t about to let Ian win, at least not that easily.  
Ian was quick to follow Mickey, he knew where he was headed, and they usually argued like this, it was routine at this point. 

Mickey just walked back to their apartment which was a few blocks away from the Alibi, knowing that Ian would follow him because it’s their home that they share together. 

However, when the two both got into the house, things felt different.  
Mickey didn’t yell, fight back with Ian, or really react.  
Ian grew curious, “you have nothing to say to me?”  
Mickey just stayed silent, and shook his head as he took off his sneakers.  
“Hello, I’m speaking to you” Ian kept pushing and pushing his partners buttons, he was eager to get the argument over with so they could go about the rest of the night as usual, a few rounds of makeup sex and then knock out for the night.  
“I nodded” Mickey calmly responded before walking to the bedroom to change. 

Ian was curious about how things were going, it was unlike Mickey to back down, he was so used to the two of them squabbling at each other like a bunch of crazy people and this wasn’t their version of normal.  
Ian followed Mickey into the bedroom, or attempted to before Mickey shut the door behind him.  
Ian jiggled the handle before realizing the door was locked.  
“I just need a minute” Mickey responded, almost whispering.  
Ian nodded, knowing Mickey couldn’t see him but assuming he’d get the memo. 

Ian waited on the couch for what seemed like hours, waiting for the bedroom door to open up, waiting for some kind of human interaction, he sat out in the living room so long that he had sobered up. He had sobered up to the point where he realized how wrong things had been going between both he and Mickey and he wanted to fix it.  
Ian walked over to the bedroom door and realized that he could hear a faint sound coming from the door. Mickey was crying.

“Mick” Ian called out, in almost a whisper.  
Mickey sniffed, walked over to the door and turned the handle to simply unlock the door.  
Ian quickly pushed his way through, and sat down next to Mickey on the bed.  
Mickey had obviously been crying for a while, his eyes were puffy, face was red and he looked absolutely devastated.  
“What’s wrong?” Ian was confused, as he inched closer to Mickey grabbing his head and putting it against his shoulder.  
Mickey let out another sob, and didn’t speak for what felt like forever.  
Ian wrapped his legs around Mickey, and held him against his chest. 

When Mickey finally spoke the only words he could find to say was “I’m so exhausted.”  
Ian ran his fingers through Mickey’s hair, playing with the sweaty coils “we can go to bed if you want, that’s fine with me.”  
Ian jumped up and kissed the top of Mickeys head before pulling back the bed sheets, motioning for Mickey to get under the covers with him.  
However, Mickey didn’t move, he just sat on the foot of the bed away from Ian. 

Ian was puzzled, “Mick?”  
“Ian” was the only word Mickey could get out before he started to cry again.  
Ian quickly crawled out from under the covers and back to his lover.  
“I don’t understand what’s happening here” Ian admitted as he tried to read the tearful look on his lovers face.  
“I think we should” Mickey swallowed, gulped, hard.  
“I think we should go our separate ways” Mickey managed to mumble out.  
“Wait, what?” Ian was blindsided, hurt and confused.  
“I think it’s time that we…”  
“Don’t say it again!” Ian cut Mickey off that time, obviously not being literal with his previous question.  
Mickey just blinked, letting out another trail of tears.

“Where is this coming from?” Ian cried out, now grabbing on to Mickeys lifeless arm.  
“It’s been a long time coming Ian, who are we kidding.”  
Mickey was actually giving up this time; he was the one to finally throw in the towel. 

“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight, and we will figure things out in the morning” Mickey stated before grabbing his pillow and a blanket. 

At this point Ian was uncontrollably sobbing, to the point where he couldn’t even see what was going on around him.  
“But Mick, I love you. I want you.” Ian let out between breathy sobs.

“Yeah? Well, I don’t think I want you” Mickey replied, as he shut the door and left Ian with those few words that felt like stabbing knives.

“I don’t think I want you.”


	2. Ian's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is written in Ian's POV, this is the way he lived the next day and what he did/said/felt.

The next morning has arrived, and neither boy had slept through the night.  
Mickey tossed and turned on the couch, trying his hardest to shut his eyes and force himself to sleep.  
Ian sobbed off and on all night, falling asleep for small increments of time but never getting a good amount in.

When the sun was finally peeking through the windows, Mickey decided it was time to get up for the day. He tried to quietly get off the couch so that he could go shower but it was no use, Ian was already standing in the hallway.  
“Good morning” Ian murmured awkwardly.  
“Morning” Mickey replied coldly as he walked by Ian, not even looking at him.  
Ian had never felt this way before, Mickey had been distant and cold before, but not like this and not in this way.  
“Where did we go so wrong?” Ian thought to himself before taking a seat on the couch that was still warm from Mickey’s body. 

As the sound of the shower began to ring through the small apartment, Ian made himself comfortable as he engulfed himself in the scent of Mickey’s sheets. 

Ian was slightly dozing off on the couch, when he heard the front door shut.  
Ian was startled by the sound, jumping up and looking around he had realized that Mickeys car keys were gone from the key rack on the wall.   
Ian just sighed, still confused about what happened last night, and getting the cold shoulder from his boyfriend wasn’t helping his piece anything together. 

Ian decided to go for a run, it’s usually what he did when times were tough, he tried to run away from his problems, obviously metaphorically but it still helped him clear his head.   
He usually didn’t get his siblings involved in his home life drama with Mickey but he wasn’t sure what to do this time, so he needed advice from his siblings which led Ian running back to his childhood home, knowing Fiona would at least be there.  
When he walked in he was greeted by familiar faces, a smiling Fiona and a tired looking Lip, Lip worked a lot so he was always running on a few hours of sleep. 

“Hey there stranger” Fiona giggled as she walked up to her brother and greeted him with a hug.  
“It’s been a while” Ian forced a laugh, knowing all too well it had been at least over a month since he had visited his siblings.   
Lip could read Ian the second he walked in the room, which led him to ushering him to the kitchen to sit down and have a talk.  
“What gives?” Lip asked as he poured Ian a cup of coffee.   
“I don’t really know” Ian gulped, not knowing how to even explain what he didn’t understand himself.   
“Try” Fiona said softly as she took a seat across from the both of her brothers.   
Ian took a look at both of his siblings, trying not to look them in the eyes, knowing how much it would pain him, he just blurted out “I think Mickey wants to leave me.”   
“What?” both Fiona and Lip responded in unison, obviously shocked.  
Ian shrugged, “yeah I’m in shock too” as he fought hard to hold back the massive amount of tears that wanted to flow out of his eyes.   
“What makes you think that man? Mickeys crazy about you, always has been” Lip assured Ian.   
“Ummm” Ian hummed out, fidgeting with the handle of his coffee cup.   
Fiona couldn’t respond, she was too busy trying to read the solemn look on her brother’s face. 

“Last night he told me that he didn’t think he wanted me anymore” Ian laughed, not out of hilarity but out of awkward/uncomfortableness.   
Finally Fiona reacted, simply just one big sisterly hug and that was all Ian needed to fully let out the sobs he had been choking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long... it was long overdue and i'm sorry that I do not keep up with this as much as I used to. Thanks for reading. :)


	3. Mickey's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickeys POV and the way he thinks/feels about the situation. Kind of gives an inkling as to why Mickey said what he said to Ian.

Mickey was exhausted, he had spent the night tossing and turning, wondering what the future might hold, and would Ian be in it? Mickey didn’t even want to remember last night, much yet relive it but he was going to have to face the music, he and Ian shared a home together and there was no place to run.  
When the sun peeked through the windows, Mickey tried to slip off the couch but he was unsuccessful. Ian was already standing in the hallway, giving Mickey those eyes that won him over every single time, but not this time, Mickey refused to fall for them.  
“Good morning” Ian murmured awkwardly, shifting his feet around.  
“Morning” Mickey replied coldly as he walked by Ian, trying his hardest not to make any eye contact.

Mickey knew that if he saw the look on Ian’s face that he would cave, change his mind, apologize like he did so many times before even when things weren’t his fault but this time he wanted to show Ian how serious the situation was, and that he meant what he said.

While Mickey turned the water on for the shower, he sat down on the cold toilet, naked and vulnerable waiting for the water to warm up, and trying to hold back tears. 

You see, all that was going through Mickeys head right now was the thought of having to live life without Ian, having to start over with someone new, when he knew he didn’t really want to. Mickey DID still want Ian, he just didn’t know if Ian was still the best choice for him. 

While Mickey came out of the shower and walked to the bedroom, he glanced over at Ian who was sleeping on the couch, wrapped in Mickey’s blankets.  
Mickey couldn’t help but smile; his heart felt a small ounce of hope. 

As Mickey left the house that day, grabbing his keys and shutting the door seemed numbing. He felt empty inside, not kissing Ian goodbye or even shouting an “I love you” from the door frame, nothing just silence.

Mickey thought a lot on the way to work, thinking about how hard the last few months had been.  
Ian had been spiraling out of control, his drinking was at an all-time high, he wasn’t acting like himself anymore, and constantly starting fights with Mickey seemed to be the new normal. 

Mickey couldn’t wrap himself around the way Ian was being, he couldn’t make excuses for it anymore, they weren’t teenagers, they were grown adults with real jobs and lives and things were different.

“Was it something I said? Did I do something wrong? What made Ian so hateful toward me?” Mickey had all these thoughts rush into his head as he pulled in the parking lot for work and took the keys out of the ignition.


	4. Chicken Alfredo with a side of tears.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey and Ian discuss what's going on with them.

Mickey spent a majority of his day at the office trying to stay distracted. Mickey worked for a small loan company, not exactly the most exciting job but it helped put food on the table and keep Mickey out of trouble. 

Ian called out of work and spent the day with his family, trying to get some relationship advice from the Gallagher family was almost comical but it was all Ian really had to rely on. 

When Mickey got off of work all he wanted to do was open the door to his home, kick his shoes off and relax but he felt an overwhelming weight on his chest wondering what was behind his front door. Was Ian home? What was tonight going to be like? Tons of different thoughts swirled around in Mickeys mind before turning the knob to his home. 

When Mickey entered the house, he realized that it was eerily quiet, the air was thick from the air conditioner being off all day and that when Mickey realized that Ian hadn’t even been home all day.   
Mickey scoffed to himself, “figures” he mumbled before stripping down to boxers.   
Mickey quickly turned the air on, before heading to the fridge to open a beer, he really needed to unwind.   
As soon as Mickey pulled a frozen dinner out of the freezer, the front door flew open. 

Mickey looked up to see Ian grinning ear to ear carrying a bunch of bags.   
“What’s all that?” Mickey couldn’t help but be curious.  
Ian’s hands were so full that he had to slam the door shut with his foot, before setting all the bags onto the counter.  
“I got some stuff to make dinner” Ian kissed Mickeys cheek almost hesitantly.   
Mickey was confused, Ian hadn’t made dinner in a long time, their new normal was either frozen dinners, or going out to eat.  
Mickey just shrugged it off and grabbed his beer, sitting on the couch, eyes following Ian as he walked around the kitchen, still not speaking a word.  
“I got some chicken” Ian stated awkwardly, obviously trying to start conversation.   
Mickey raised a brow, but decided to play along.  
“Oh yeah?” He answered sarcastically as he gulped down the rest of his beer.   
Mickey got up to get another one, but was halted by Ian handing him another one.  
“I want to try” Ian said beer in hand, waiting for Mickey to grab it.   
Mickey grabbed the beer from Ian “Why now?”  
Mickey was really good at putting on a “tough guy” persona but not with Ian.  
Ian saw right through the pain, Mickey loved that and hated that all in the same.

“I never really thought we’d be here” Ian confessed as he broke up some pasta noodles, throwing them into a big pot.   
Mickey sat on the counter top, watching Ian’s every move, between sips of beer.   
Ian was faced toward Mickey now, with nothing left to do or take care of but have a conversation.   
Ian had sweat dripping from his brow bone; he was nervous, jittery and didn’t really know what to say.  
Mickey had an intense gaze; he knew he made Ian nervous even after all this time and right now he was using it for his own selfishness.   
“I feel like we got to comfortable, I got too comfortable and I just didn’t realize that we could fall so far off” Ian swallowed hard, trying not to be emotional.   
Mickey nodded, understanding where Ian was coming from.  
“I don’t know man” Mickey started to speak, trying to find the right words.  
“I think what you’re doing is nice and all but you know that cooking dinner isn’t exactly going to fix all our problems right?”   
Ian grabbed Mickeys hands, trying to look him directly in the eyes “I know but it’s a start.”  
Mickey hopped off the counter and nodded, heading over to the couch to sit while Ian finished up. 

When the two had dinner, it was slightly awkward in the sense that neither one of them knew what to say, it was as if they were already broken up.   
Ian finally decided to speak up, “so where are you sleeping tonight?”  
Ian awkwardly cleared his throat, looking up at Mickey for an answer.  
Mickey couldn’t help but laugh, “that really all you thought to say?”  
“I don’t want to say the wrong thing” Ian shrugged, taking a bite of his chicken alfredo.   
“I think you should take the couch tonight and I’ll take the bed” Mickey said jokingly but knew Ian would take the hint.   
“I’d do that for you, but I’d rather us just sleep in the same bed” Ian practically whimpered.  
Mickey could see that reality was setting in for Ian, he felt wrong for almost enjoying it but maybe Ian would understand a fraction of what Mickey had been feeling for some time now. 

When it was time to go to bed and Mickey was showering, Ian had moved his things into the living room and moved Mickeys things back into the bedroom.  
When Mickey got out of the shower he smiled, and walked over to Ian trying to fake sleep on the couch.  
“I know you’re awake” Mickey said in a sing songy voice, making Ian laugh.  
“C’mere” Mickey motioned for Ian to sit up and give him a kiss.  
Ian lit up, grabbing the back of Mickeys neck and kissing him passionately.   
Leaning down beside the couch Mickey looked up at Ian, “I still very much love you but that doesn’t change what I said yesterday. I don’t think we can make this work unless we both really try” Mickey bit back tears but remained stern sounding.   
Ian wasn’t used to seeing Mickey be emotional so this caused a tear to roll down his cheek, not being able to speak clearly Ian just nodded.   
Mickey patted the blanket on top of Ian and headed toward the bedroom, Ian couldn’t help himself but to call out to him “Hey Mick, I love you.”  
Mickey turned around and nodded before closing the bedroom door for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i'm awful at updating, i'm so sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be another chapter.


End file.
